Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
