I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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