Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
