im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
