what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
