this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
