Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
