i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
