sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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