i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
