It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
