i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
