I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
