physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
