How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
