She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
