Whod you bang
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
