it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
