I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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