I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
