I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
