mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
