Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
