can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
