I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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