so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
