i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
