It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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