Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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