Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
