I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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