she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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