He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
