I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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