he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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