Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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