I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
