And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
