Quick, to the slutcave!
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
