hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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