I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
