U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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