speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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