Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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