No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
