it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
