4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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