We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
