I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
