just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
