he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
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