I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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