Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
