I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
