My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
