she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
